so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
