part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
