i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
