Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
