Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
