we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
