But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
