is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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