In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just had sex on a roof
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
