I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
