Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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