1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
