I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
