She said her name was "party"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
