we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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