In the future we'll all be gay
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize