that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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