DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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