I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I am available for nakedness
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
