ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
