Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
