I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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