Kiss
Puke
if only i could text you this smell
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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