My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
