I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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