I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
