wanna go halves on a baby?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize