I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
