Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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