i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
