It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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