god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
