I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize