You're my little dorito
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
