I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
