it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
