just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
