I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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