We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
