Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
