I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
