Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
