I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The Olympian is in my bed
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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