What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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