omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
