i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
