There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
