you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize