have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
