You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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