Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I checked into jail on foursquare
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
