seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
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It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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