I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
