I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
