So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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