so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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