I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
