I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
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Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
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Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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