The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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