Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize